“You Are My Sea”

I was sitting in my cubicle, drinking coffee and waiting patiently for a large Excel file to open. My eyes drifted from the screen, landing on Peter’s desk’s perfect arrangement of colorful pens and correction fluid. The only thing that didn’t fit this perfect office space was an old 90s Tamagotchi...

It was odd that Peter wasn’t there right now, working away. He was always early for work, which I discovered the one morning Silfra—our boss—had me arrive at 7:30 am. He was already there, even though he hadn’t been asked. Now, it was 11:44 am. Where was he?

Suddenly, a commotion of voices flooded in from the corridor.

“I can’t take it anymore!” Peter’s voice was raw and brutal, as he shouted at whoever was unlucky to be with him at that moment.

Surprised by that dramatic scream, I got up to see what was going on... And noticed that at the end of the hall, Peter and Silfra were having a loud, animated conversation.

Peter looked like a total mess... His neat side-parting was gone, replaced with a blond mess that looked like he’d been tearing at it... Frankly speaking, I’d never seen him look so undone before, he was such a neat person...

And even the way he stood was all tense. His hands shook as he gripped tightly the stack of files that he was carrying with himself...

Hmm, could it be that this morning’s meeting with the client went wrong?

“Please calm down, Peter. I do not agree with them, either, and regarding your team leader’s behavior, we can definitely discuss this,” Silfra said in her most calming tone.

She was in her fifties and had been the matriarch of our department for at least twenty years. She was the director’s right hand—and no one dared say anything impolite to her, not to mention screaming! But Peter looked like he had been driven over the edge...

I suspected that it wasn’t anything Silfra had done or said to him. She was very understanding and never demanded from people more than they could do. Moreover, she was always polite; actually asking us to do things rather than ordering them to be done... And with her post at this office, she could have been the terror of the department!

I tried to think back of all that had happened this week, to figure out why Peter was so enraged... And, I realized that he kept losing his patience a lot in the past few days... Or, more accurately, weeks.

He’d snapped at me multiple times, and got upset over the smallest things... He had to be getting out at me, because we were the only guys in an office full of women...

I didn’t mind it, though. I teased him regularly, in all ways that I could only think of, so, he had good reason to be mad at me...

Damn. Was this my fault?

Had I gone too far?! I suddenly worried.

Peter's voice quivered as he gasped: “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. But, I can’t discuss it right now. I’m going through something. I need to be alone.”

And then, he turned his head to the side, and saw me... Those beautiful eyes that were always so sharp and focused were filled with pain and something else I couldn’t pin down...

At my sight, however, he dropped the pile of documents to the floor and ran past me, almost hitting me with his shoulder.

“Hey!” I called out after him.

But he didn’t pay attention to that; he just ran for the stairs.

“I think that he’s having a mental breakdown,” Silfra said, approaching me with a somewhat concerned expression. “Mind checking on him, Arnold? You two are coworkers.”

“Sure, madam,” I was secretly glad that I didn’t even ask for her permission. As at this moment, I couldn’t care less about work.

I might have been partially responsible for this situation. And so, I had to catch up with Peter!

With these thoughts filling my mind, I ran for the stairwell and raced after Peter. He couldn’t have gotten too far ahead... He was tall but frail, even though he’d recently started working out...

I reached the ground floor, but there was no one around. Hmm, maybe he went to the gym?

As a perk, we’d all received gym cards. I already had a yearly card for another place, so I gave mine to someone else. I regretted it soon after, as I could have worked out with Peter and made sure he progressed well. I paid close attention to everything concerning him. I felt zero shame about it.

As I headed for the door, I realized that I was an idiot. I’d go to the gym, but Peter would want to hide just like he had on his first day.

So, I turned around, and ran for the parking lot, to look for him.

*

Peter and I met two years ago on his first day at the company... And, it was his eyes that first captured my attention. Their colors reminded me of the Antarctic landscape; they were light blue, and filled with a cool light. His gaze, sharp and intelligent, observed the world with much precision... And yet, he was so shy and nervous.

Just like Silfra had asked me to, I’d prepared his desk for him to ease his transition to our company. I could tell though that he was struggling with it; sitting behind his desk, he slouched like he wanted to hide away from us all...

I didn’t know where he had been working before, but it surely hadn’t been a nice place... if he was scared like that.

*

The parking lot was huge, and by the time that I neared where Peter’s car was always parked, Peter was already reversing out of the spot.

“Wait!” I yelled, running toward him, but he either couldn’t hear me or ignored me. I guessed the latter...

I knew that the guards would stop him at the exit—they always did to ensure we didn’t take our computers home—but that didn’t mean that Peter would talk to me, then...

I sprinted back inside, ran to my desk and quickly grabbed my car keys. Luckily, my team leader wasn’t around to give me grief for ditching work... Instead, in my rush to escape unnoticed, I accidentally bumped into Peter’s desk, destroying his pen army and knocking over that correction fluid...