HASALYNX PRESS
Read Romance Ebooks Legally — Anytime, Online, With a Monthly Subscription

Breaking up with my long-term boyfriend was a real challenge. It wasn’t easy to let go of somebody with whom you had so much history but in all honesty, after everything that transpired, I had really reached my breaking point. Love shouldn’t bring pain, and yet, with him, it was just unbearable…

It wasn’t one bad event that tore us apart; rather, it was a gradual build-up of frustration and anger in my soul. I kept being patient until, one day, I just decided that I had enough.

Ending our relationship wasn’t easy – he refused to let me go -, but I knew that it was absolutely necessary for my sanity. Internally, I strongly believed that true love should be about happiness and support, and not the source of constant turmoil. I wanted to be with somebody who would support me through my hard days, and not make them even harder; and who could argue with me on that? Nobody. So, I decided to walk away and prioritize my well-being...

Obviously, like mentioned before, ending things with a person with whom you’ve shared so much of your life history, was incredibly difficult. The thought of never hugging him, taking walks together, dining together, and talking as easily as earlier was heart-wrenching... It made my heart constrict painfully, almost as if it wanted to implode from pain...

However, my pride was wounded to the point of no return, and at this point, my desire for emotional safety, freedom from constant arguing and identity preservation became stronger than my love for him; I just had to make the tough choice to walk away and protect myself. No matter how hard it was, sometimes, running away was the only option to keep sane.

Jôrut was a very difficult person to be with. Very often, he displayed rather selfish and unempathetic behavior, but to be fair, I couldn’t really blame him for it. He – just like me, after all – came from a humble background. Nobody taught him what was toxic and abusive, and so, how was he supposed to learn it? It wasn’t easy to look at one’s behavior and see flaws in it. Everyone was trying their best, to the fullest of their capabilities, and only others could admonish and show them their mistakes.

He treated me the same way he saw his parents and siblings treat each other, and for him, that behavior was considered “normal.”

Meanwhile, all of my friends believed that he was toxic, abusive and audacious; as for me, for a long time, I found myself stuck somewhere in between... I felt that Jôrut could benefit from some good therapy, but he was unwilling to seek professional help.

As a result, I ended up becoming his unofficial therapist, which generally had positive effects – as it helped him reflect, reach new conclusions and change – but it often came at my own expense. I found myself tolerating behaviors that I shouldn’t have, for far too long!

I had been extremely patient with him, but in all honesty, how much more suffering did I have to endure?