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Candy De Luna, Fishing for Feelings

Chapter 1. Aquarium Gravel Splashes


(Jade’s POV)


I pressed my phone to my ear, my heart picking up speed as it rang. One ring, two rings—would he even answer? I’d called Kairi on impulse, staring at the massive cardboard box containing my new aquarium, suddenly overwhelmed by the complexity of what I’d bought. When he picked up, his voice was warm, familiar, sending an involuntary shiver down my spine. “Hey, Jade. What’s up?” I swallowed, trying to sound casual. “Remember how you said you had an aquarium growing up? I, uh... I could use some help setting mine up. If you’re not busy.”

“I’ll be right there,” he said without hesitation. “Give me fifteen minutes.”

I glanced around my apartment, suddenly seeing it through someone else’s eyes—the pile of textbooks on the coffee table, the half-empty takeout containers, the bras drying on the bathroom door. “Actually, maybe we should—” But he’d already hung up.

Exactly twelve minutes later, a knock at my door made me jump. When I opened it, Kairi stood there with a small smile, still slightly out of breath like he‘d rushed over.

“That was fast,” I said, stepping back to let him in.

“I was actually about to text you when you called.” He shrugged off his denim jacket, revealing a plain black t-shirt beneath. “Weird coincidence, right?”

“What were you going to text me about?” I asked, my fingers suddenly busy with the hem of my shirt.

He hesitated, then laughed softly. “Nothing important. Just... seeing what you were up to today.”

I led him into my small living room where the aquarium box sat unopened, trying to ignore the fluttering in my chest at the thought that he’d been thinking about me at the exact moment I’d called him. “Sorry about the mess,” I said, hastily stacking some textbooks. “I wasn’t expecting company.”

“It’s not a mess,” he said, looking around with interest. “It’s lived-in. I like it.”

My apartment was small but had high ceilings and original hardwood floors that creaked pleasantly underfoot. Plants filled every available surface—pothos trailing from shelves, succulents clustering on the windowsill, a fiddle leaf fig stretching toward the light. Kairi moved among them with careful steps, as if afraid to disturb anything.

“Let’s see what we’re working with,” he said, kneeling beside the box. His fingers were deft as they broke the tape, methodical in a way that made me think of his movements in karate class—precise, intentional. I found myself watching his hands instead of the aquarium parts he was carefully laying out.

We worked side by side on the floor, our knees occasionally bumping as we sorted through gravel, filter parts, and decorations. The space between us felt charged, like static electricity building up before a storm.

“My mom would love these,” Kairi said, holding up one of the small porcelain decorations I’d picked—a miniature bridge over stylized rocks.

“They’re from the Eastern Pearl,” I admitted. “The owner’s son gave them to me. Said they were gathering dust in the storeroom.”

“They’re beautiful,” he said, turning the small bridge over in his hands. His fingers were so careful with it, like it was something precious instead of just a kitschy restaurant decoration.

We filled the tank with gravel first, then positioned the filter. When it came time to add water, I held the bucket while Kairi poured, our hands overlapping briefly on the plastic handle. The touch was electric, sending warmth up my arm and into my chest.

“Careful,” he warned as water splashed over the side, landing on my shirt. “You’re getting wet.”

“Oh no,” I deadpanned. “My shirt is ruined. Whatever shall I do?”

A grin broke across his face, and before I could react, he flicked water at me with his fingers. I gasped in mock outrage and retaliated, dipping my fingers in the bucket and splashing him back. He laughed, the sound warming something in my chest, and for a moment we were just two kids playing with water, forgetting the careful dance we’d been doing around each other for months.

A drop clung to his eyelash, catching the light, and I had to stop myself from reaching out to wipe it away.

“These decorations,” he said, arranging the small bridge and miniature pagoda among the smooth river stones, “they make it look like the East China Sea.”

I raised an eyebrow. “The East China Sea? Really?”

“Well,” he backtracked, his eyes widening slightly, “I just meant—”

“I know what you meant,” I said, softening. I wasn’t actually offended. How could I be when he looked so genuinely concerned he’d said something wrong? “It’s fine. They are pretty Chinese. But I think that’s the point.”

“It looks good,” he said, his voice quieter now. “Peaceful.”

The water slowly cleared as the filter hummed to life, creating gentle ripples across the surface. We stood back to admire our work as twilight began to fall outside, casting long shadows across my apartment. The aquarium seemed to glow with a soft green light of its own, the water transformed into something almost magical in the fading day.

“It still needs fish,” I said, watching the empty tank with satisfaction. “Want to come to the pet store with me tomorrow to pick some out?”

“I’d like that,” he replied, his voice warm in a way that made my stomach flip.

We stood side by side in the growing dimness, the only light now coming from the aquarium and the streetlamp outside my window. Without warning, Kairi’s arm slid around my shoulders, casual and careful all at once. I froze for a split second, then let myself lean into him, resting my head against his chest. I could hear his heart beating, a steady rhythm that seemed to say, I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.

The moment felt fragile, like a soap bubble that might burst if I acknowledged it. So I didn’t. I just stood there with his arm around me, watching the empty aquarium glow, feeling more at home than I had in years. The plants around us seemed to lean in, witnesses to something neither of us was brave enough to name.

“It’s going to look amazing with fish,” he murmured, his breath stirring my mint-green hair.

I nodded, not trusting my voice. This felt so natural, so easy—his arm around me, my head on his chest. Like something I could get used to. Like something I’d been waiting for without knowing it.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, breaking the spell. I pulled it out reluctantly, seeing my father’s name on the screen along with the first few words of a text: “When are you coming to vis—”

I silenced it without reading further and slipped the phone back into my pocket.

“Everything okay?” Kairi asked, his arm still around me.

“Yeah,” I lied, leaning back into him. “Nothing important.”

The aquarium hummed, water circulating in endless cycles, creating a tiny world separate from everything outside. For now, in this bubble of green light with Kairi’s arm around me, I could pretend that nothing existed beyond my apartment door—not my father’s expectations, not the weight of history between China and Japan, not the fear of ruining a friendship I couldn’t bear to lose.

For now, this was enough: an empty aquarium waiting to be filled, and the two of us, standing on the edge of something neither of us was ready to name.

Chapter 2. Warm Sheets Snap


(Jade’s POV)


The day after Kairi helped set up my aquarium, I climbed to the roof of my apartment building with a basket of wet laundry balanced on my hip. The warmth of yesterday still lingered on my skin—the weight of his arm around my shoulders, the steady rhythm of his heart against my ear, the way his voice had softened in the aquarium’s green glow. I tried to push the thoughts away as I pinned a shirt to the line, but they clung to me like the damp fabric between my fingers.

April sunlight warmed the back of my neck as I worked, hanging jeans and t-shirts on the communal clothesline. The rooftop was my favorite place in the building—just a flat expanse of weathered concrete surrounded by a low wall, but up here I could see the whole town sprawling below, the university campus in the distance, trees just starting to bloom with spring.

My phone sat on the edge of the laundry basket, screen up. I’d checked it seventeen times in the last hour. No notifications. No texts from Kairi.

Which was fine. Completely normal. We’d just spent yesterday afternoon together, and we were going to the pet store later today. No reason he would text me in between. No reason my stomach should knot every time I glanced at the silent phone.

I reached for another shirt—one of my work uniforms from the Eastern Pearl—and carefully pinned it to the line. A sudden gust of wind caught it, making it snap like a flag. The same wind tugged at my mint-green hair, pulling strands from my messy bun and whipping them across my face.

The wind had a playful quality today, almost sentient, like it was trying to tell me something. It lifted the corners of my sheets, making them dance, then dropped them just as quickly. It carried the scent of someone’s cooking from a nearby apartment—ginger and garlic, so familiar it made my chest ache for my mother’s kitchen.

I checked my phone again. Still nothing.

“This is ridiculous,” I muttered to myself, shoving the phone into my pocket. I was acting like a lovesick teenager, not a college student with two jobs and a plant science degree to finish.

But as I pinned the last sock to the line, my pocket vibrated. My heart lurched so suddenly I nearly dropped the wooden clothespin. I fumbled for the phone, almost afraid to look at the screen.

Kairi: Still on for the pet store at 3? I’ve been reading about which fish work best together in new tanks.

Something bright and terrifying exploded in my chest. My fingers trembled as I stared at the text, at the small evidence that he’d been thinking about me, about our plans, about our aquarium. The fact that he’d researched fish compatibility made me feel lightheaded, like I’d stood up too quickly.

And then it hit me, a realization so sudden and complete it was like being struck by lightning: I was in love with Kairi.

Not just attracted to him. Not just enjoying his company. In love with him. The kind of love that changes everything.

My knees gave out and I sank onto my plastic laundry bucket, the phone clutched in my suddenly cold hands. The wind whipped around me, sheets and shirts billowing like sails, but I barely noticed. My whole body buzzed with the truth I’d been avoiding for months.

I loved the careful way he handled fragile things, whether it was aquarium decorations or my feelings. I loved his quiet laugh, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, the slight hesitation before he asked for something. I loved how he listened—really listened—when I talked about my plants or my classes or the customers at the Eastern Pearl.

But as quickly as the joy of realization flooded me, dread followed in its wake, a cold shadow creeping over my sunlit epiphany.

He was Japanese-American. I was Chinese-American. And while we were both American enough that this shouldn’t matter, I knew with bone-deep certainty that it would matter to my father.

Dad never spoke directly about it, but the weight of history hung in our family like an heirloom too valuable or too cursed to touch. My father’s parents had lived through the Japanese occupation of parts of China during World War II. They had survived atrocities they never fully described, carrying the scars into their new American lives, passing that pain to my father like an inheritance.

I’d grown up watching Dad’s face harden whenever Japan was mentioned on the news. I’d seen him change channels when documentaries about WWII came on. I’d heard the edge in his voice when he spoke about “the Japanese,” as if decades of peace hadn’t happened, as if the children and grandchildren of those soldiers still carried the guilt of their ancestors’ actions.

And now I was in love with one of those grandchildren.

I stared at my phone, at Kairi’s innocent text about fish. He had no idea that loving him would mean defying generations of pain and mistrust. He had no idea that every moment I spent with him was a small rebellion against my father’s unspoken rules.


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