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„BFF 2 BAE”

Chapter 1. Chlorine Scent, Hot Fries, and a Confession Text

I patted the edge of the swimming pool with my hand, then instantly turned around. My feet pushed off the tiled wall. I caught a lost breath, took advantage of the momentum, and moved only my arms and legs—rhythmically but lazily. I had five more minutes, and I'd already beaten a new record, so now I just wanted to slack off a bit.

Water splashed all around me, and droplets clung to my swimming goggles. I pushed them up onto my forehead and glanced at the ceiling. Although I didn't want to think about my life, it was happening anyway; swimming triggered me, made me a bit too philosophical. Whenever I looked at the ceiling, I felt tempted to analyze everything that was going on in my life... And considering that I'd started swimming at age six, I'd been analyzing everything day after day… for years.

Had it helped me? I'd always thought so, but now I wasn't so sure anymore. I was always somewhat sad deep in my heart, and I didn't know what could be causing it. Maybe I just had a melancholic personality. I was quiet and kept most of my thoughts and feelings to myself…

My roommate Almudena suggested instead that I might be depressed. I replied that it wasn't very probable. I didn't have trouble with daily functioning. I got up early each morning, listened attentively to my college classes, and then enjoyed hours in the pool. I had many friends, too, and I was active in our college clique. I had everything one could want from life, and my past had been rather positive. I didn't have reasons to feel sad…

Almudena said it could be brain chemistry. However, the prospect of taking medication just because I felt a little sad didn't thrill me… especially since there were moments during the day when I felt more than fine.

I got out of the pool and accidentally stepped into another person's slippers. Yuck! I quickly kicked them off my feet and slipped into mine.

I rushed through the shallow chlorine pool, straight into the shower room. The jets of hot water were so relaxing… But I wanted to dry off and eat something warm…

I toweled dry and dressed. Today, I was wearing torn blue jeans, a loose white blouse, and an ash-grey, long knitted sweater. I knew this outfit was rather bland and lacked style, but it was comfortable and I felt good in it, and that was what mattered most.

I grabbed the hairdryer and looked in the mirror. The blond balayage I'd done three weeks ago was already ruined; no hair conditioner could save your hair from daily exposure to chlorine…

I dried my hair and twisted it into a top knot. Then I caught my reflection in the mirror… And silently sighed at myself. I wasn't one of those pretty girls. I was tall and had a healthy weight, but lacked attractive curves… on top of that, my skin was heavily freckled.

I was nothing special… but that was just how I was, that was me. Delaney Anderson.

I wasn't perfect, and I didn't exactly love myself full-time, but I knew that I mattered. Some people needed me in their life, and I'd always be there for them.

As I sat on the bus returning to the student dorm, I got a text from my best friend, Kevin. He'd just finished his hackathon and finally had a free evening. That meant we'd meet at our favorite bar. I smiled at the mere thought. It was always so great to see him; I really couldn't wait!

I entered my room only to unpack my swimming bag, then rushed to meet him.

As I walked into the place, I instantly spotted him at our favorite table. It was that skinny, Asian-American guy, wearing a sci-fi t-shirt and black pants, tapping rapidly on his phone. I'd bet he was playing some strategy game… I could easily recognize that focused look on his face.

I'd known him since we were about five. We grew up together in Philadelphia. Our parents didn't truly like each other, but luckily, they let us be friends. We went to elementary school, junior high, and high school together… And now we were at the same university. We studied different majors, though. He was in programming, and I'd chosen sociology. In summary, he was always there in my life, no matter where I went… I supposed we were friends for life.

He stood up as soon as I approached the table. His brushed-up, jet-black hair was supposed to make him appear taller; just like his sports shoes. Unfortunately, it helped only a bit; he was my height and weighed almost as little as I did, even though he was male. But he was still a beautiful guy. He always had been.

"French fries?" he asked instead of hello.

"I'm starving," I responded, and he left to place the order.

I sank into the worn but cozy armchair and let myself absorb the atmosphere of the place. It was a ruin bar with visible pipes and scraped walls, almost entirely covered by eclectic artworks and vintage posters. Bottle chandeliers mounted on wooden canopies gave off a dim light. Bearded hipsters smoked e-cigs, and Rasta girls gossiped in the corner. A radio hidden in an old jukebox played rock. Nothing fit here, and I found it strangely comforting... Maybe because I didn't feel out of place here, like I sometimes did in other places…

Kevin returned with our favorite drinks and orders: burgers and a french fry jenga. I used a small plastic fork to grab one fry. Even without directly touching it, I could tell it was scorching hot…

I hesitated for a moment to put it in my mouth, fearing I'd burn my tongue, but then gave in. I was just too hungry. The fry melted in my mouth, and I sighed with joy. The best food ever.

"Thanks," I expressed my gratitude.

"Don't even mention it," Kevin smiled, cutely squinting his eyes. I'd seen it a thousand times, but somehow, it made my heart jump a bit. "How was your day?"

"Busy," I answered, downing more fries. "The new semester just started, but the professors have already assigned us so many publications to read! But never mind, tell me more about your hackathon!"

I didn't want to bore him with my usual college stuff, especially since I knew he had so much more to learn… All those programming languages he studied gave me a headache.

"I don't mind listening to your college stories…" Kevin replied, taking a sip of iced coke from his glass. "It's interesting to know how things go in another major; I can make comparisons."

"Okay, but your news is more interesting tonight," I pointed out.

"Well, the hackathon was a real challenge. We were creating a new type of phone app, based on an AI algorithm that helps you compose music. You answer different questions about the genre, the mood, the rhythm of the song you'd like to compose, and the app creates it for you, using ready-made formulas…"

Wow… It sounded so advanced. I couldn't even imagine how hard programming that must have been.

"That's so cool! Can I download it?!"

"It's still in the testing phase, but as soon as our team gets it ready, sure! We'll promote it everywhere. Jade has promised to put it on the most important app markets…"

"Jade? Who's that?" I put another french fry in my mouth.

"A girl from my team. I've told you about her... or haven't I?" Kevin tilted his head.

"No, you haven't," I cleaned my fingers with the paper napkin. "Anything important I need to know about her?"

"I'd like to ask her on a date, and I'm wondering whether you and Stephen couldn't accompany us..."

"Accompany you? Like, go on a double date together?" I was surprised he'd suggest that.

"Yeah. So? Can I count on you?"

I brought my glass closer. The feeling of sadness was back all of a sudden... I felt emptiness in my chest, and the bar became a bit too loud for me... This day had been so long; I just wanted to return to my and Almudena's apartment…

"So? What do you say, Delaney?" Kevin drummed his fingers on the table, clearly waiting for an answer.

I gave him a half-shrug. "I don't know if Stephen has any time this weekend."

"Let's meet on the next one, then," he didn't give up. "Or are you hiding him from me?"

"What?! Not at all!" I protested a bit too eagerly. "Why would I?"

He threw me a look I knew all too well, which said he wanted me to figure out the answer on my own.

But... How was I supposed to know?

I said nothing for a good while, racking my brains, until he eventually helped me:

"Because of Tyler."

I flinched as he mentioned the name of my almost-boyfriend. He'd turned out to be a total player. Kevin had discovered his lousy reputation by accident, saving me from heartbreak just in time.

"I'm super glad you ruined things between Tyler and me," I sighed. "And as for Stephen, I think he's a decent guy. He's the son of a pastor, after all… What can you tell me about Jade?"

"Jade? Well… She's not as creepy as Stella, I promise you that," he said, finally unwrapping his burger.

Stella was his paranoid ex. I'd wanted to like her... but it was impossible. She constantly stalked him on social media and even read our texts. A couple of times, she'd even accused him of cheating on her with me. That didn't make any sense, as Kevin and I had always been just friends, and everyone in our clique knew it too well.

"So, what do you say, Delaney? Can I count on you for that double date?" He wouldn't let it go.

"Yes," I responded, mostly because I didn't want to let him down… I knew he needed my blessing, and maybe even help. I wanted to be there for him. I could absolutely survive one evening of watching him with another girl. It was no big deal. "I'll be happy to accompany you."

I added these words to convince myself, not him… And also to push certain unwanted thoughts out of my head. I didn't like him. I never had. He was just a friend.

"Great!" He grinned. "Let's break the news to them now. What do you say, Delaney?"

I hesitated for a moment, but then nodded and put my phone on the table.

And at that exact moment, the screen lit up. I'd received a message from none other than Stephen.

Perfect timing, I smiled to myself, tapping the message. I knew Kevin was watching from across the table, but I didn't mind. He was my best friend, and we had no secrets. If he didn't read the text himself, I'd probably let him do it later anyway.

Surprisingly, Stephen's message was incredibly long.

Stephen: Hi, Delaney! How are things going over there? I'm at my father's house now. He's preparing a workshop on how we can best apply the gospel's philosophy in the modern world. I wish you were here so we could attend it together... I'm still thinking about our meeting at the city fair. I had a really good time. You're such a sweet girl, and beautiful too. Hanging out with you really makes my days! I hope we can go steady soon.

God damn it, I swore in my mind, panicked, and hit the side button of my phone, making the screen go black. I glanced at Kevin, but he had already read everything. I could tell from the look on his face.

"What?" I asked, ashamed.

Even though we weren't together, I felt like I'd just cheated on him, and he'd caught me red-handed...

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, sure…" He drank some of his coke, probably to mask his awkwardness. "It's just, I'm shocked... He's... fast."

"Fast?" His words hurt me in a way I couldn't understand. "There's a difference between love and friendship, you know? Love hits you like lightning..."

"I know, but still, I would never confess this fast. How long have you known him? Three weeks?"